Two great weekends in a row? What’s going on here! It was an absolutely fantastic weekend. Why can’t I live a life where I do nothing but dine out and shop my life away? Of course, how will I be able to afford all that if I quit my job. I haven’t figured that part out yet, but I’m working on it.
Friday
You know the drill, go into work early so I can get off early. Did my shopping and then headed home for a quick power nap before heading over to Maq’s. It was restaurant week in Baltimore and we decided to go to Fogo de Chao since it would be a reduced price. If you are a starving carnivore this is the place to go. I think we definitely ate our $35.11 worth. Actually, more like $60 worth of meat. I was entirely stuffed with meat.
Hmmm……. that sounded a little obscene.
We were not able to procure reservations but we did arrive early enough that the dinner rush hadn’t quite started yet. An hour later, after top sirloin, bottom sirloin, garlic steak, filet mignon, sizzling lamb chops and chargrilled chicken, and don’t forget the smoked salmon, the shitake mushrooms and the beets (Maq, not me), I was S.T.U.F.F.E.D. It didn’t even make no sense. Oh yeah, and I poured a glass of wine on top of all that and Maq had a …. some kind of drink that I cannot spell. With restaurant week a dessert was included and sad to say that I had to take my shoes off just to eat the dessert. Okay, no I’m playing but my stomach was finished. It was a mess.
Since it was early there was really no point in going home so we decided to go to Arundel Mills to catch a movie. I had been dying to see Black Swan since it came out. It’s been winning all these awards, the reviews are all crazy (in a good way) so I really, really wanted to see it.
What a freakin’ mind trip! It was good, but it was trippy. I felt like I should have been high to understand it. Natalie Portman can sometimes be annoying in movies but this one… it suited her perfectly. The one thing I didn’t get…. well, I won’t ruin it for you. You need to see it. At the end of the movie, Maq and I were like… what? What just happened? I think that Nina’s (Natalie Portman’s character) problem was that she didn’t eat enough meat. Those ballet chicks are SCRAWNY!!!
Saturday
I got up early Saturday to do a quick workout before heading down to Annapolis to meet the Lunkheads for the Polar Bear Plunge. You know, I really started to chicken out on this. When I woke up to hit the gym it was freezing out and I was like, I’m gonna jump in some ice cold water? Yeah, I don’t think so. I was trying to think of a good enough excuse so they wouldn’t ask me a whole bunch of questions. I had no excuse except that I was scared, but I ended up going. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bitter cold as it was like two weeks ago when it was like eight degrees outside, but it still 25 degrees is cold enough.
You know what I discovered? That people are fucking crazy. To walk around the event, I wore a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and a light jacket. I had on my jogging pants plus my army shorts. I don’t own a bathing suit and I wasn’t going to buy one just for this event. A t-shirt and some shorts is good enough. Other people? Well, they were in various stages of undress. I saw one woman in nothing but a bikini. No shoes. No jacket. Nothing else but a bikini. I saw many guys walking around in shorts. We saw a crew of guys wearing jean short cut offs. They reminded me of 1980s George Michael. I saw some guy walking around in bunny pajamas. Seriously. This isn’t the part where you get into the water. This is the little fair that’s associated with the event. Put some fucking clothes on.
Even though the event is alcohol free, you can’t tell me these people were not high or drunk, or some combination of both. There’s no way you walk around on snowpacked ice without shoes on and you don’t feel shit.
So the actual jumping into the water….. They have these heated tents where you get changed. I stayed in there long as possible because once I took my sweatshirt off, I was freezing!! I wore some old sneakers because I couldn’t walk around on that frozen ass sand. There was still snow and ice all over the beach. I went outside to meet the Lunkheads. They had on cutoff t-shirts and shorts. They also had their shoes on. But there were many people who weren’t wearing shoes. Crazy.
They do a countdown to jump into the water. 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! I ran into that water so fast, splashed around for about six seconds and then ran back out to the heated tent. You would have thought I was some kind of Olympic sprinter I was running so fast.
That water was so cold…. so cold in a way that I cannot describe. You want to slap somebody it’s so damn cold. My feet became immediately numb. My legs started to cramp up. When I was running back to the tent I couldn’t even feel anything. My shoes, of course, were completely soaked through. The tents had these warming things and I stood in front of one so I could get the feeling back into my lower half. I only ran into the water up to my waist. Some people dunked their whole body in but I am not that tough. I freely admit that and there’s no shame in that!
My feet were so frozen that even though I had dried them I had difficulty trying to put them into the other pair of shoes I brought. That shit was absolutely fucking crazy. Would I do it again? I might. It was an experience, I can say that. It’s for charity. My friend Kay asked me what does all this prove. It don’t prove anything except that people are crazy but you know… you only live once and I now appreciate having hot running water and a warm bed and a fireplace to go back to, because if I were homeless… of course, if I were homeless I wouldn’t be jumping into the cold ass ocean but still… you get my point.
I came home to soak up to my neck in the bathtub. I put in one of those Lush bath bombs. I’m not impressed and I’m glad I only bought two of them. My skin is super soft but I like bubbles in my bathwater. At that point I was just trying to get warm so who cares about all that?
I laid in bed the rest of the evening. I had a date with Debonair again. Where did we go? Fogo de Chao. I swear to God I don’t want to see anymore meat until February 2013. We had a good time though. Another friend of ours came out with us. I definitely did not eat as much as I did when I was with Maq. That’s just crazy. Debonair and I decided that we need to chill on the meat thing so the next time we dine out, we are going for seafood. LMAO.
Sunday
I was going to spend the day laying in bed but Maq called me early in the morning to say that she had overslept church and that she wanted to go shopping. See, that’s what you do. You sleep on Jesus and then shop. Hahahah.
We drove out to Potomac Mills just for something different. So, yeah, I spent a shitload of money. In addition to no more meat, let’s just say no more shopping until May 2012. I know I can’t hold out that long but damn, I put a dent in it. I actually did not buy that much but for a person who really only intended to pick up a few belts and maybe some cosmetics, that is why I say I spent too much.
So, let’s see… I spent like $40 on accessories in Forever 21. You know how cheap their jewellery is so you know $40 in accessories is a fucking fortune. So Maq likes cosmetics. SF likes quack doctors. I like accessories. I have 12 pairs of the same earrings. Four rings that look exactly alike. A shit ton of necklaces that I never wear but yet I keep buying them. Don’t get me started on bracelets. I put them on with my outfit and then take them off as soon as I get to work because I can’t stand them clacking on the desk. Sad.
I bought belts. I bought cosmetics. I even bought Starbucks, and I stopped drinking coffee years ago for the precise reason that I was spending too much money on coffee. I even bought Crocs. (I had to come back to add this. I can believe I forgot about the Crocs.) When we first came into mall, we came in through Forever 21 and went left. The mall seemed kind of lame to me but as we were headed back towards Forever 21 to leave, we realised there was so much more mall to the right that we had not explored. The plan was to walk all the way down and then come back. We saw some accessories store, but their shit was too expensive. We have decided that we are going to Security Mall in a few weeks so we can go to the cheap ghetto accessory store. Then we saw the Crocs store. So, I think Crocs are very comfortable, but they are faddish and expensive for no reason. You know I am not the type of person to buy into every fad that comes to town. We went into the store because we saw a sign that said, “Buy one, get one half off.” Maq always wanted some Crocs but she wasn’t going to pay full price. So we go into the store, not only are they having this buy one, get one half off, they are also having some additional sale where some of the Croc styles were 50 per cent off. When we were in Florida, we both wanted a pair of Crocs but they were like $35.00 and I said no because it just seemed stupid to me. Hahah. So glad I practised restraint because the one that I wanted so on sale plus the buy one, get one half off, me and Maq split that, so I paid $10 for my Crocs. Nice.
But that wasn’t even the kicker. The real kicker was the fucking Coach store.
*sighs*
Maq says, let’s go in Coach. I agree because I never buy anything out of Coach. I usually wait until I go to New York and buy a very good knockoff. Coach is overpriced and most of their handbags look like soccer mom bags. But Coach was having some kind of inventory sale. Everything in the store was on sale and then on top of that they had an additional 30% off. It was a feeding frenzy in that place. I was wondering why there were so many people in there, but then I realised I could buy a bag for 80% off. It was a zoo. Women were digging through bags like they were digging for gold.
I found two bags I wanted but you know how I am about spending large sums of money on shit I don’t even need. I already have a suitcase full of bags I don’t carry. I have a Christian Dior that still has the tags on it. I have two Louis V bags and four Prada bags. Do I need a Coach bag? No. Did I buy one? Yes.
But not the one I wanted. This woman…. she was carrying around my bag trying to decide if she wanted it. If you want the bag buy it, if you don’t put it down so someone else can! I really wanted that bag and it was to the point that I did not even care how much the bag was. Maq and I hung out in the store as long as possible but that woman would not put the bag down and she did not get in the line either. I finally settled on a blue bag. Seriously, I might consider taking it back because I really do not need another fucking bag. I also think I just bought a bag because Maq bought one. Then I think I liked it because I had blue hair and the bag was blue. If I feel the urge to carry it I’ll keep it but so far it’s just sitting on the floor.
After the Coach store feeding frenzy we left. I was tired after all that. I went home and got some Chinese food. I emailed Debonair for the rest of the afternoon while watching Twilight for the first time. Everyone looks at me like I’m crazy because I never saw the movie and so I just decided to see what the hype is about. I feel dumber for having wasted two hours and five minutes on this drivel. It was so poorly acted. Kristen Stewart was great in Panic Room and other films but Twilight it’s like who wrote this crap.
Why does Robert Pattinson look ill? Why does the other vampire Cullen look like a deer in the headlights. Why is Kristen Stewart’s mouth open through the whole movie? Why was the Spanish girl trying to go out with the Asian guy who was obviously gay? Was I this angsty as a teenager? Why did she get so obsessed within five minutes of meeting him? Why is this movie so bad but yet so many people love it?
I can’t answer these questions.
I stayed up kinda late talking to Debonair, and now I’m suffering for it. I ended up having weird dreams about vampires. I don’t know what that means.
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